So Chris and I went to our first Bradley Method Class. For all of you that don't know what or who that is follow the link to the website.
Before I got pregnant I would always say that I wanted to be as drugged up as possible when giving birth so that I didn't feel a thing. I would think women were crazy for wanting to have a baby med-free and that they were trying to prove something to the world. I also thought that that type of birth was reserved for granola/hippie/I live on a compound type individuals. I guess my thinking just stemmed from hearing horror stories about birth growing up and watching those baby TV shows on TLC. I think it also stemmed from just living in the modern society that we live in. With all of the advances in medicine why wouldn't anyone want to take advantage of all of that?
If you know me then you know that any big thing in life I do (i.e. buying a house, planning a wedding, having a baby) I fully engross myself in research, chat boards, and any book I can get my hands on about the subject. It's obsessive but I can't help it. So, naturally when I found out that I was pregnant I did the same thing. And what I found were that so many women today were educating themselves about all of the options available to them in terms of birth and choosing what they felt worked best for them. Since I was little it was just assumed that women just went along with whatever their doctors told them and that they didn't really have a choice in the matter. And what surprised me the most during all of this was that with everything that was available to me my heart kept telling me that a natural, med-free birth was the way I wanted to go.
Of course the decision to go natural was not an overnight thing. I discussed it with Chris, watched documentaries on natural birth, and continued to research and read any natural birth story I could. Through this process Chris even voiced that he was leaning towards the natural med-free birth option, but made sure to let me know that whatever I chose to do he would be on board with. So after a lot of thought I found a local Bradley Method teacher and signed us up for the 10 week class.
The first class was all about relaxation techniques, pain management, exercises we should be doing to get ready for labor, discussing what fears we had, and also watching a short video on women in Brazil who use a squatting technique to deliver their babies. The video was definitaly graphic but the women in the video weren't screaming their heads off, or cussing, or even really showing any discomfort at all. It was sort of beautiful to watch the Women's body just sort of take over and do it's thing to get the baby out. Now if you ask Chris he will tell you about the video in a completely different way. Needless to say it was a little overwhelming for him but I was so proud he was able to get through it. The class was great and I feel like it will prepare both Chris and I for whats to come. I love the fact that the method is also focused on how to help your partner to become your "coach". I love that our birth experience will include both of us working together to get through it to bring our little man into this world.
While I have made the decision on what sort of birth I want I do understand that things may change. I am still delivering in a hospital and I am still trusting my OB to do her job. This decision was never about thinking one way was best for everyone because it's not. Every women should decide on their own how they want their birth experience to be. My decision was the one for me and in no way do I judge Women who use drugs or other methods to get their babies out. Who knows, I might go into labor and end up using pain meds to get me through it, or end up having a c-section.
Don't get me wrong I'm still scared and anxious about birth. I have doubts about what I am able to handle ALL of the time. I'm scared that I won't have the courage or strength to overcome the pain. But what I have to remember is that no one knows exactly what to expect with the first baby so being afraid is completely normal.
All I know is that I want my birth experience to have as little intervention as possible and be as med- free as possible. If you are thinking about going med-free I highly recommend you see Pregnant in America and The Business of Being Born. I know they are highly one sided opinions but I think they have some valuable information.
Friday, August 5, 2011
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Baby is now the size of a papaya!
So today I am officially 22 weeks! So since I started this so late I figured I would give you a run down of the pregnancy so far. Be warned that I am not sugar coating anything and you might not want to read some of this. Also, if you don't know me, I might seem like I always focus on the negative but I promise I really don't. I'm just a very honest, what you see is what you get kind of person.
The first 10 weeks of the pregnancy were pretty uneventful. I didn't have any morning sickness but I felt extremely exhausted all the time, mood swings were minimal, my boobs started to feel sore to the touch, I felt extremely bloated, teenage style acne reared it's ugly head, and the only aversion I had to food was eggs for a couple of days.
Weeks 11-15: Still uneventful but I finally started to shift to maternity clothes, still felt bloated, mood swings still minimal, boobs were starting to get bigger than normal, no sign of a baby bump, I felt like blood started to get drawn every other week (both by my OB and Endocronologist), and still exhausted.
Baby at 12 weeks
Weeks 16-19: This is when things finally started to get interesting. I stopped feeling bloated but started to grow a mini baby bump, and the lower part of my stomach started to get hard. A weird dark line popped up over night that starts at my belly and goes down to my lady bits, nipples at this point are getting darker (I guess this is normal so the baby can have an easier time finding them), I'm starting to grease myself in oil to help prevent stretch marks, acne went away, mood swings still minimal but starting to get weepy, and while not exhausted I still didn't have enough energy to get up and workout consistently.
Me at 19 weeks
Week 20-21: Week 20 was exciting for both Chris and I since we finally found out what we were having. We were hoping for a girl but the ultrasound clearly showed a twig and berries. While I was happy to know the baby was growing perfectly and that it was healthy, we both were a little disappointed in the news. I cried and felt like an ungrateful princess (or b*tch whatever you prefer) but felt totally overwhelmed that I didn't know what I was going to do with a little boy. After a total meltdown in the shower one day (I have to add this was my first real meltdown so far) Chris suggested we go to the mall and maybe look at boy stuff to get excited. So while at Baby Gap and after $50 spent I got over it. Oh yeah, I almost forgot, I finally started to feel the baby move! No kicks and punches but more of a rippling motion across my uterus.
So, that brings us to now....At week 22 I for sure have a valid baby bump, I can cry happy or sad tears at any moment, boobs feel like giant/heavy rocks, I now make grunting noises when getting up from the couch or bed (sexy I know), I now burp like a frat boy, I always feel thirsty, I get up to pee every 5 seconds, I now have cankles, and I get winded walking up and down the stairs at work. On the plus side my hair/nails/skin have never looked better, I'm feeling the baby move consistently, and my energy is back! With all of my new energy I have started to exercise everyday for at least 30 minutes a day, which makes me feel a little better about the weight I'm gaining.
See, isn't pregnancy beautiful? (I hope you detected my sarcasm). All kidding aside it really is a special time. It's amazing what the female body does during this time in life and you can't help but to be amazed when you see your baby moving it's arms, fingers, and toes in an ultrasound.
I'm curious and scared as to what the next few weeks will bring but I'm sure whatever it is I'll adapt and keep moving forward.
The first 10 weeks of the pregnancy were pretty uneventful. I didn't have any morning sickness but I felt extremely exhausted all the time, mood swings were minimal, my boobs started to feel sore to the touch, I felt extremely bloated, teenage style acne reared it's ugly head, and the only aversion I had to food was eggs for a couple of days.
Weeks 11-15: Still uneventful but I finally started to shift to maternity clothes, still felt bloated, mood swings still minimal, boobs were starting to get bigger than normal, no sign of a baby bump, I felt like blood started to get drawn every other week (both by my OB and Endocronologist), and still exhausted.
Baby at 12 weeks
Weeks 16-19: This is when things finally started to get interesting. I stopped feeling bloated but started to grow a mini baby bump, and the lower part of my stomach started to get hard. A weird dark line popped up over night that starts at my belly and goes down to my lady bits, nipples at this point are getting darker (I guess this is normal so the baby can have an easier time finding them), I'm starting to grease myself in oil to help prevent stretch marks, acne went away, mood swings still minimal but starting to get weepy, and while not exhausted I still didn't have enough energy to get up and workout consistently.
Me at 19 weeks
Week 20-21: Week 20 was exciting for both Chris and I since we finally found out what we were having. We were hoping for a girl but the ultrasound clearly showed a twig and berries. While I was happy to know the baby was growing perfectly and that it was healthy, we both were a little disappointed in the news. I cried and felt like an ungrateful princess (or b*tch whatever you prefer) but felt totally overwhelmed that I didn't know what I was going to do with a little boy. After a total meltdown in the shower one day (I have to add this was my first real meltdown so far) Chris suggested we go to the mall and maybe look at boy stuff to get excited. So while at Baby Gap and after $50 spent I got over it. Oh yeah, I almost forgot, I finally started to feel the baby move! No kicks and punches but more of a rippling motion across my uterus.
So, that brings us to now....At week 22 I for sure have a valid baby bump, I can cry happy or sad tears at any moment, boobs feel like giant/heavy rocks, I now make grunting noises when getting up from the couch or bed (sexy I know), I now burp like a frat boy, I always feel thirsty, I get up to pee every 5 seconds, I now have cankles, and I get winded walking up and down the stairs at work. On the plus side my hair/nails/skin have never looked better, I'm feeling the baby move consistently, and my energy is back! With all of my new energy I have started to exercise everyday for at least 30 minutes a day, which makes me feel a little better about the weight I'm gaining.
See, isn't pregnancy beautiful? (I hope you detected my sarcasm). All kidding aside it really is a special time. It's amazing what the female body does during this time in life and you can't help but to be amazed when you see your baby moving it's arms, fingers, and toes in an ultrasound.
I'm curious and scared as to what the next few weeks will bring but I'm sure whatever it is I'll adapt and keep moving forward.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
This is not for real.
This is how I actually felt when I saw the positive sign on the pregnancy test. The week I found out I knew something was up. I wasn't feeling right and my body just felt off. I told the Hubby about what I was feeling and we both nervously laughed at the idea that I might be pregnant. See, I had stopped the BCP (birth control pill) in late October of 2010 to regulate my cycles in preparation for trying to conceive the following year. Since before we got married we always said that the year I turned 28 was the year we would start trying.
We liked the idea of being young-ish parents and knew the risks of waiting until after age 30 to start trying. So when I went off the pill Chris(hubby) and I decided that we would use alternative forms of protection until we were ready, which was around my 28th B-Day in Oct 2011. I had heard of friends having trouble getting pregnant and it taking at least a year to get knocked up. We were both comfortable with the timeline and decided to just go for it.
So on a day off from work in late March the Hubby and I were at Target when I suggested we buy a pregnancy test. We even commented that I was probably just getting sick and that I couldn't possibly be pregnant. I'm not saying we were perfect and always used a back up but to be honest we only slipped a couple of times.
We got home, put away the groceries and cleaning supplies we had purchased, and sort of stared at each other like... should I do it now?. Of course when the time came I couldn't pee so I pounded 2 water bottles and waited for the need to urinate. I went to the bathroom by myself and Chris made himself busy with doing things around the house. I waited the longest three minutes of my life and when I looked down the test said positive. I just sort of stared at it thinking it couldn't be right and then proceeded to take all 3 tests in the box. One after another they were all positive. Again, I just sort of stared at it and my immediate thought was "oh shit is this for real?".
Chris knocked on the door since it had been a while since I said anything and I proceeded to tell him the news. I was shocked at the way he reacted. Not only did he bust out the label maker to date the pee stick he even looked excited! I don't remember what I said to him but I just remember making my way to the couch where I started to cry. I wasn't really upset and I wasn't really happy either. The whole event wasn't like anything they show in the movies/TV where couples smile, laugh, shed happy tears, and start immediately planning for baby. Mine was more of a "WTF? Is my life over?" sort of reaction.
The next few days were up and down with emotions as I tried to grasp the idea that I was pregnant. It got a little easier as the days went by, but it was easy to forget at the same time since I didn't really have any of the "normal" pregnancy symptoms. Some of you might be saying to yourself that my reaction was the wrong reaction but you have to understand that while I felt blessed I wasn't ready for a baby so soon after getting off the BCP. I felt guilty that I wasn't happy, I felt guilty that so many other women struggle to get the very thing I was unsure of, and I felt totally alone.
I was never a fan (and still not) of kids and babies. I was never one to fawn over newborn babies and ask if I could hold them (but give me a furry little puppy or kitty and I will be all over that shit). Don't get me wrong I will love my kids to death, but I probably still won't really like other peoples kids. The year we thought it was going to take was my time to warm-up to being part of the mommy club.
While I still have my days of being anxious I have warmed up to the idea, accepted that my life is going in the direction it's going, and am even happy and excited. Hearing the heartbeat and seeing the baby in the ultrasound has been one of the most exciting and magical things to experience.
I really have to give a ton of credit to my Husband who has been my rock and strength over the past 21 weeks. I'm truly blessed to have him in my life and I am blessed to be able to bring a part of him into this world.
I know I'm starting this blog a little late but in all honesty the main purpose of it is to just document my feelings/thoughts,pregnancy in general, and to share news with family that's not close. So, please forgive any misspelled words or grammatical errors..I'm not perfect and I'm not trying to be. Hope you enjoy what I have to say(and if you don't I don't care)!
We liked the idea of being young-ish parents and knew the risks of waiting until after age 30 to start trying. So when I went off the pill Chris(hubby) and I decided that we would use alternative forms of protection until we were ready, which was around my 28th B-Day in Oct 2011. I had heard of friends having trouble getting pregnant and it taking at least a year to get knocked up. We were both comfortable with the timeline and decided to just go for it.
So on a day off from work in late March the Hubby and I were at Target when I suggested we buy a pregnancy test. We even commented that I was probably just getting sick and that I couldn't possibly be pregnant. I'm not saying we were perfect and always used a back up but to be honest we only slipped a couple of times.
We got home, put away the groceries and cleaning supplies we had purchased, and sort of stared at each other like... should I do it now?. Of course when the time came I couldn't pee so I pounded 2 water bottles and waited for the need to urinate. I went to the bathroom by myself and Chris made himself busy with doing things around the house. I waited the longest three minutes of my life and when I looked down the test said positive. I just sort of stared at it thinking it couldn't be right and then proceeded to take all 3 tests in the box. One after another they were all positive. Again, I just sort of stared at it and my immediate thought was "oh shit is this for real?".
Chris knocked on the door since it had been a while since I said anything and I proceeded to tell him the news. I was shocked at the way he reacted. Not only did he bust out the label maker to date the pee stick he even looked excited! I don't remember what I said to him but I just remember making my way to the couch where I started to cry. I wasn't really upset and I wasn't really happy either. The whole event wasn't like anything they show in the movies/TV where couples smile, laugh, shed happy tears, and start immediately planning for baby. Mine was more of a "WTF? Is my life over?" sort of reaction.
The next few days were up and down with emotions as I tried to grasp the idea that I was pregnant. It got a little easier as the days went by, but it was easy to forget at the same time since I didn't really have any of the "normal" pregnancy symptoms. Some of you might be saying to yourself that my reaction was the wrong reaction but you have to understand that while I felt blessed I wasn't ready for a baby so soon after getting off the BCP. I felt guilty that I wasn't happy, I felt guilty that so many other women struggle to get the very thing I was unsure of, and I felt totally alone.
I was never a fan (and still not) of kids and babies. I was never one to fawn over newborn babies and ask if I could hold them (but give me a furry little puppy or kitty and I will be all over that shit). Don't get me wrong I will love my kids to death, but I probably still won't really like other peoples kids. The year we thought it was going to take was my time to warm-up to being part of the mommy club.
While I still have my days of being anxious I have warmed up to the idea, accepted that my life is going in the direction it's going, and am even happy and excited. Hearing the heartbeat and seeing the baby in the ultrasound has been one of the most exciting and magical things to experience.
I really have to give a ton of credit to my Husband who has been my rock and strength over the past 21 weeks. I'm truly blessed to have him in my life and I am blessed to be able to bring a part of him into this world.
I know I'm starting this blog a little late but in all honesty the main purpose of it is to just document my feelings/thoughts,pregnancy in general, and to share news with family that's not close. So, please forgive any misspelled words or grammatical errors..I'm not perfect and I'm not trying to be. Hope you enjoy what I have to say(and if you don't I don't care)!
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